The struggle is REAL...and...it's OKAY!

I tell you..it is not easy being me. It wasn't before I got saved. It's not now. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that God never promised any of us easy. Victory, Peace, Joy...yes...but easy...ummmm...not so much.

I don't think that anything worth having comes easy. Think about it. If you are a parent. Labor. Hard! Terrible twos. Hard! Teenagers. Hard! But our children are probably top three among our greatest gifts from God! (Top three? Is she crazy? My kids are number 1! Well. They shouldn't be. That's God's spot! And also for another blog...stay with me on this!) If you are a student. Homework. Hard! Papers. Hard! Finals. Hard! An athlete? An artist? A sister, a brother? Anything worth having or doing..is hard work! That's just how it is.

So. If you're like me..there is this one BIG thing that you struggle with. I mean you can be just bouncing along, making what you think is progress..and BAM! It punches you in the mouth, grabs you by the throat and laughs in your face as it mocks you and says.."Just where do you think you're going? I'm not done with you yet!" And there you go again..caught back up in the struggle.

You pray. You study. You work. You pray some more. But still. There it is. This giant ball of "mess" that you just can't shake. You begin to wonder if you are doing something wrong. Is it me? Am I not doing this thing or that thing right? Should I stop doing this, or start doing that?

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes self evaluation is good. Because sometimes we are the problem. But after you have searched your heart and put in the work to correct whatever you found was wrong. What happens when you continue to struggle with that thing?

Remember how Jacob struggled with that "man" in the old testament? All night long he went back and forth, determined not to let go until somebody told him something. The man realized he was fighting a losing battle against Jacob and got in a cheap shot to Jacob's hip throwing it out of joint. I don't know if you've ever been in a physical altercation but if somebody gets you in the hip, you're going to go down. But Jacob kept at him, bad hip and all. Jacob kept on fighting until finally the man cried uncle..the man said, "Let go of me! It's almost daylight." I'm sure Jacob was struggling to just keep his feet..but he manages to say.."You can't go until you bless me." (Genesis 32:24b-26)

Maybe it's time to stop running from the struggle and just get down and dirty with it. Maybe it's time to see that thing through until the end. Jacob told the man, "I won't stop until you bless me." Wait. Back up. This guy, this thing out of nowhere attacks Jacob and gets him caught up in the fight of his life..possibly for his life..and Jacob refuses to let him go until he blesses him? Wait! What?

I guess it time to ask ourselves...do we have the struggle..or does the struggle have us? Yea..I know..that one hit me kind of hard too. Do we have the struggle? Are we holding on to something that we should have dealt with a long time ago and just let go? Does the struggle have us? Is God allowing us to continue to struggle with this thing because we haven't quite grasped the lesson so we aren't quite prepared for His blessing in the lesson? Take your time! Pray on it! This is not a simple a question as it appears to be.

If you've read the scripture..at this point Jacob doesn't realize with whom or with what he is struggling. All he knows is that if he has been at this thing all night something has to give. My night may not be the same length of his night. Yours might not be as long as..or as short as..mine. But night is night. And the struggle is the struggle. Take the time to tell your struggle who you are..(after you figure it out, of course)..v 27. Take the time to ask your struggle who it is..v 29.

I don't know that when we go on our little fact finding mission we will be able to say that our name has been changed to Israel (v. 28). I don't know that we will be able to change the name of the place of our struggle to Peniel (v. 30). I don't know if we will walk with a limp or not eat beef chuck anymore (v. 31-32). I don't know what will happen because I'm still caught up in my struggle!

I do know this...God has brought me to it...and He will surely bring me through it!