Yoaz ain't my Boaz!

I wanted to shake things up a bit. I didn't want to shut this sucker down before it even had a chance to take off. So. I decided to have a grown up conversation with the grown ups during grown up hours.

Recently at a football game...(Go Tornadoes!)...I reconnected with an old friend. Or at least I tried to. Now. Y'all know Ima flirt. I have always been. And 9 times out of 10..if you have seen it..there was nothing to it. When I was in the world..my game was so undercover I had trouble finding it myself.

Anyway. Though this guy and I never hooked up in high school..it wasn't for lack of trying. But it seemed that our timing was always off. He was with her. I was with him. And even a few years ago when our paths crossed..we seem to only manage to play XXX phone and text tag.

          [HOW MANY OF YOU KNOW GOD'S

          TIMING IS NEVER OFF...IF IT DIDN'T 

          WORK OUT...IT WON'T SUPPOSED TO.

          ..IF IT AIN'T SUPPOSED TO..IT AIN'T

          GOING TO...AMEN!!!!]

So. When I saw him..as with so many other people..after my self imposed public exile..(definitely a story for another blog)..I was genuinely happy to see him. And I literally threw myself into his arms. That wasn't a part of my flirt. That was simply so-dang-good-to-see-you..point blank, period.

I was with my girls. And I was there to see my BabyGirl get her crown..(Ms. JG FHS Homecoming Queen 2013..Whoop Whoop!)..I was not there to pick anybody up. So. I hugged, I smiled, I kept it moving. But he kept finding me.

A few times an alarm went off in my head. He grabbed my hand..I got it back..he got it again. He pressed against my tail..I shifted. He made some suggestive remarks..I deflected. He licked his lips..(still some of the sexiest I've ever seen)..I averted my eyes. Just small bells. But hey, this was that guy. My almost high school secret lover. My go to guy for understanding. Bells, schmells..it's cool..Right? Right!

So. Long story short. We laughed. We caught up. We had a good time. I took his number. He was like..I know you won't call..I was like..yes, I will! Turns out..he was right. I didn't call..I text two days later.

I am not making this stuff up. This is how my side of the convo went.

Text 1 (Sun)...John Doe?

Text 2 (Wed)...Hey..who is this?

Text 3...Oh! You spelled my name right.

Text 4...There is something you need to know about me so you can decide how you want to handle this...ready?

Text 5... I am saved...and saving myself for my husband...I will flirt and joke with you...but any dating will be dead end.

Except for the John Doe..those are the actual messages from my trash.

He was like good for you..that's a good thing..I'm good with that. So. We text back and forth until it was time for me to get ready for church. I said to him..I'll hit you back when I get in tonight. He said ok, I'll talk to you then.

The next time I checked my phone I saw this.....

"As gush of hot steamy (bleep) fills my mouth i suck ur (bleep) even more 2 get all of it.ur legs shake ur toes curl u scream out oh sh*t. That wuz a thought dnt b mad"

He almost made me curse. Don't be mad? Really? Mad? I was hurt and disappointed in him. And after I told him that..I said..take care of yourself, John Doe...goodbye!

Guess how many days before he had the nerve to text me again!?!?!